Dealt with another blow.

To start on a happy note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear ROSE! :)

Today is an emo-day and my mood keeps going up and down.

morning: we went through Chem mcq during lecture. and i got 11/20 in the end. that's not the way it should be. and out of the 9 questions wrong, 4 were due to carelessness. to think that i even spent the whole of my June holidays mugging for CHEM. i ought to be punished.

following after, we stoned at the fitness corner and i suddenly thought of many exam-related sad memories. like how i failed physics last time; such a painful experience.

afternoon: maths tutorial. erm, new teacher Mr. koh (i think; i forgot his name) seems nice. well actually, any teacher in SA who can teach maths a lot better than Mrs Wong would be considered a good maths teacher. and everything seemss fine until the moment my maths paper reaches my hand.

"14.5/70" it read. i stared hard at it. yes it's true. that's like 20.7 %. which means that my promos will be pulled down heavily, and will i be retained? well, i don't know though there might be this high chance so.

i dont know why i cried after maths. i didnt want my friends to worry for me, but i just couldn't hold back my tears. perhaps it's the effect of too many blows in a short period of time. perhaps it's just my emotions. perhaps the results hold too much damage for me to undertake. but i do not blame anyone. i ought to see this coming. though only 1 out of 24 passed, i think most ppl attained at least 20 and some got like sub-pass. at least the EXTENT of failing isnt that bad.

FOR MY CLIQUE: thank you guys for your concern. i'll be fine after a while. and thanks again for cheering me up! love you guys (: and to yiqi - thanks for your tissue papers.

when i came home, my grandma was like asking me if i have known any of my results yet. then i replied after a slow pause "no". i'm sorry for lying, but i cannot find the right time to break the news to my parents, especially my mom. i think i'll be back into grounding again cos she always complains that i've so many activities to hinder me from studying. how and when should i tell them? i promised them that i will study hard and at least pass this CT; and now it seems like i broke my promise and i really hate to see them giving me the "i'm-so-disappointed-in-you" expression and lose faith in me.

i think i should start mugging for promos from today onwards. at least there's still time to make up for what i've failed to achieve. but i know, it's real hard for me to be a full time mugger since this cindy chan was a born slacker.

i guess when the econs and full chem papers return,
i'll be dealt with the FINAL BLOW.
we shall see how it goes.

3:51 PM ღ i thought of you.