Nowadays, I've just realised that my mood always face drastic changes. Like being emo for a moment then hyper for the next few hours. Strange isn't it? haha. Perhaps this is the side effect of that thing.

Last friday my gang went to watch SURF'S UP! hahaha. quite a funny "chee bong" show though it's rather irrational. and i ended up laughing like mad and getting more pain in addition to my "not-feeling-well" situation. HEE. but i have something to say: "ARNOLD IS UBER CUTE!" oh man. such a lovable chubby penguin with suicidal tendencies to walk towards the sea. haha.

OH YEAH. and i was told of this wonderful news too. actually is two wonderful news: my four buddies are attached! i was rather surprised that george took action so fast though i predicted that they will be together. :) and i was totally happy for eliz and joel! 有情人，终成眷属 :D hmm yea. then later that night joel was talking to me online that they thought i was feeling rather out of place, or awkward, since the situation is like 2 couples + me. anyway such cases i'm used to it le so it shouldn't be a problem.

my dad kept getting Nick to sound me out if i've anyone in mind. MY LIPS ARE SEALED. =X cos he was quite taken back when i told him that i wanted to be a sister in convent to take care of kindergarten kids last time. but anyway it doesn't matter whether i have or not since i've lost faith in a thing called love. seems like many people around me are getting hurt by this thing, so i'd rather not give it a 2nd chance to hurt me again.

Time flies and it's 4 years already; if i said i've gotten over it - then i'm probably lying to myself. i think i just can't let go of the past. perhaps it's just me and my stubbornness, or rather it's that weak will that refuses to budge. just a few days back, i discovered that he's attached and all i could do now is to force myself to let go. cindy chan, you've got to put in more determination and resolve this once and for all. but this day returns again, only to leave me incapacitated. though he will never see this, still i want to say: happy birthday boy; you have my blessings. All the best. :)

should i smile because we are friends, or cry because this is all we'll ever be?

i think i'm still holding on to a dream that will never come true.

face the truth cindy, it's time to wake up.

Back to reality.