不想懂得

当世界 不知不觉的变了
有时候 我怀念以前的我
作的梦 虽然远远的
想像是 一种快乐

拥有了 同时也失去什么
而眷恋 原来会带来软弱
你让我 在雾里成熟
心开始曲折

我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
说谎 伤害 都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么

我不想舍得 不想懂得
谁说割爱 才更深刻
彼此依赖 是爱不是负荷
能握著手就是 感动的

_____________________

things appear to be getting better at home.
that's an illusion, really.
mom's temper is getting from bad to worse.
to worsen situation, dad went to KL for a talk.
but the worst,
was a simple little task which i had forgotten about it.

she was terribly angry with me.
and i was being labelled as my dad's accomplice.
saying that both of us treat her as unimportant.
i wasn't given any chance to redeem myself.

ytd night while i was sleeping,
she came in and threw a stack of blank CDs on my head.
my head was already tearing apart before,
and this smash made me nearly fainted.
but i know i must pull through her scolding.
she had no control over her emotions
and she just threw anything that's around her
at me.

today morning she didn't want to go church.
so my sis and i walked there ourselves.
i was wobbly on the road.
and halfway during the communion hymn i blanked out.
thank god that i pulled through the song.

sometimes i wonder things could return to their original status.
and sometimes i wished i didn't understand.

2:10 PM ღ i thought of you.