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Hello :D I am cindy and this pic isn't me, of course! and I ❤ dark choc, singing!, drama and ♫ music ♫.






Bituwin - template
Dementee - image

Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

Smiling Hearts

Monday, June 22, 2009
sometimes i think i think too much

1. University

I know I've been repeating this over and over again.
I'm sorry, but that's really how desperate I am.

2 weeks ago, I told myself :
I have the time till 22 June to pray and hope and wish for my LMS acceptance letter to come,
and I swear that I'd sincerely, earnestly, patiently, nicely wanting the course most terribly.
Somehow it shocked me that today is
22ND JUNE.

I guess I'd to accept NIE now, and the fact that I'll be teaching for life,
but I won't give up the wait for my appeal outcome.

Honestly, I feel totally stressed out just thinking about the word UNIVERSITY.
Although I'm sincerely happy for all my friends who had gotten a place in a faculty of their choice, I get more worried about my situation as each day passes.
Several people approached me about sharing of hostel rooms, and times like these I really don't know how to reply them.

"Sorry, I haven't gotten a place in the course I desire. And I'm still reconsidering NIE."

To be honest, I'm struck by the fact that
I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE TIME TO CONSIDER ANYTHING.
AND I'M LEFT WITH NO OTHER CHOICES.

Since last week, I've been having nightmares about university acceptance.
In my dreams, I saw a group of deans and professors having a meeting as to who to reject for appeal. I saw applicants having weird group interviews with killer questions. I saw myself watching others graduating, while I stood in a corner.

In another dream, I forgot what happened but somehow the acceptance letter for LMS was delayed and I was accepted into NIE, which fell on me like a prison. I guess I probably felt that way after the stupid briefing that I attended. The rules are super strict, I swear. It's like getting the red card for every little mistakes you make.

I haven't been sleeping well recently. and I discovered that I cry in my sleep.

*Sorry for this heavy-hearted entry. I'm probably getting emo from the lack of sleep.

2. Boys Over Flowers

Alright. let's change to something light-hearted.
Yup this drama is a hit I know.
Everyone is telling me that she like whowhowho in the show.
and some msn nicks I see is "GU JUN PYO 老公!"

*FAINTS*

HAHAHA anyway, I admit that I quite like this show too,
but not to THAT extent of exaggeratedness.
By the way, did I tell you that I passed by some fans' cars/vans when I was in TW?
The male and female leads were there on my first few days of hols.
Although I didn't see the celebs, I was still quite amused by these fans and their cute design cars.

Watched the episode on channel U again last sat.
And there's this classic love quote which melts most of the girls' hearts.
yea, the one with the heart-shaped patch of land scene.
alright, this sounds random.

3. My Queen

Just finished watching 败犬女王 to keep me distracted from thinking too much.
It's a great show really, although I felt that some bed scenes were absolutely redundant.
A show that can make you laugh till you cry, then cry till you laugh.

But what touched me most was the makings of the drama, where you see for yourself the sufferings the celebs have to endure just to bring in the mood for the show.
They have to wear clothes that make others think that it's in the summer season, but in actual fact it's only 10 degrees.
I really want to applause for them, for respecting their jobs.
Behind this glamour and glitzy showbiz, there's a price to pay for it.

Sidenote: the OST is all Fish Leong's songs, and it's great!

Highly recommended!

4. Life

I have been wondering for a few days if it's possible to live your life backwards?
I know it sounds like Benjamin Button, but this random philosophical question just kept scrolling in my mind.
As in, you don't have to be born old.

It's just like when you're born as a child, you hold the wisdom that an old person possesses.
So as you grow older, you get more and more inexperienced.
Till you're about teenage or probably my age, you feel at a loss and helpless like a child.

I guess I thought of this just because I was wondering why my intelligence is inversely proportional to age.

5. I realise this entry is truly a random one because I have been thinking too much.
Or rather, is still thinking so much.

My mind is preoccupied with so many things now that it feels like it can explode anytime.

I need a miracle from You.